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The last thing I expected to talk about when I was out with my girlfriends a few weeks ago was the freedom to be spontaneous in the bedroom, but it happened and can’t wait to tell you all about it!
I’m out with my girlfriends and we start talking about intimacy. Not just any kind of intimacy, but romantic, toe curling kisses and romantic moments. I noticed that while we were all sharing stories, one of our friends was sinking back in her chair, looking like she wanted to disappear.
Finally, I looked at her and said, “So what’s the deal? Why so quiet?: Well then EVERYONE looked at her and she gave me the side eye like nobody’s business. While calling her out was not one of my finer gal pal moments, my question did spark a lively and interesting conversation.
As it turns out, my friend and her long time boyfriend were having issues in the romance department. Things have always been a 10 in-between the sheets for them, but lately, things have calmed down a bit and it’s been causing friction in their relationship – no pun intended. 🙂
She still loves him to pieces but she hasn’t had as much of a desire to sleep with him, this is only made worse by some dryness (you know the kind of dryness I’m talking about ladies!)
We all heard her story and a few of my other friends piped in saying that they totally understood what she was talking about and could relate. As it turns out, they too had some intimacy issues with their partners, all for different reasons, but trouble in the bedroom none the less. One of my friends is under a ton of stress at work, another is a new mom and a third is a new empty nester. Whatever the reason, the results seemed to be the same.
Luckily, the recommendations started flowing. Here are a few of my favorite tips on how to bring romance back into your relationship:
- Talk to your partner!
A common thread in all of the stories my friends shared was that taking to their partners was a critical in bringing back the spark. Once they opened up that something was wrong, they were able to come up with creative solutions together.
- Dress Flirty.
This is going to mean something different to everyone reading this. For one of my friends, it’s high heels, a cute, short skirt and reveling top. There’s something about wearing heals that just makes her feel more comfortable, confidant and sassy. A good pair of 4 inch wedges and she’s taller than the guy she’s dating. Dressing up just changes the game a bit.
- Surprise dates / trip A few years back, I was dating a guy who surprised me on Valentine’s Day with a trip to New York for a private Bocelli concert. It was right after a snowstorm and central park looked beautiful, there were only a handful of us at the concert, which was absolutely magical and the last minute nature of the trip was romantic and made me feel incredibly special and loved. Men, you don’t have to foot the bill for an extreme trip like this to make your lady feel special. The trip was spectacular, but I would have been just as happy with a surprise trip to a lake house in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.
In addition to the toys recommended above, the pre-sex cuddling, kissing and caressing can greatly add to the experience. Take the time to just enjoy each other, before you ummmm, enjoy each other.
- Be Spontaneous. Ok, ok, I hear you. How can you be spontaneous if you have dryness issues? Well, lucky for you, K-Y® has a product called Liquibeads. K-Y® Liquibeads are a personal lubricant that gives women the freedom to be spontaneous. One of my friends was telling us all about them. They take about 20 minutes to start working and then they last for several hours. She said her experience has been that they last around 24 hours so when the time is right, all systems are go.The Liquibeads are extremely easy to use:
- Each package comes with 6 ovule inserts and 6 applicators
- Remove one ovule and insert it into the top of the applicator
- Insert the applicator (with the ovule) just like you would a tampon
- Wait around 20 minutes for the ovule to start working
- Re-apply every few days as necessary
Now you’re all set so your body is ready whenever #Themoodstrikes.
Of course if you are pregnant or nursing, you should consult with your dr. before using. You can find K-Y® Liquibeads in most major retailers including Walgreens. They might be hidden one the shelf like they were at my local Walgreens, but they are definitely worth the hunt.
Here’s a coupon for $1 off!
Have you created a spontaneous spark in your relationship? Share your tips below!